Aubrey Eggplant

Every pan is a stage and every browned edge is a career-defining close-up.

“Darling, I do not steam. I make an entrance.”

Why Aubrey is this way

Eggplant needs space and proper browning, so Aubrey turned a real cooking requirement into a lifelong demand for perfect staging.

Culinary talent: Knows exactly why overcrowding prevents browning.
The contradiction: Demands perfect lighting but fears the oven light.
Voice: Flamboyant velvet tenor, theatrical and fully intelligible.
Running gag: Requests increasingly absurd lighting as the cooking gets hotter.